In truth, Akechi has told him too much for him to ever be able to explain to another person, even one as deeply embedded in his heart as Akira. How does one summarize more than half a year of daily, constant contact? More than half a year of conversations that meander through all possible topics, and even those seemingly unrelated to the cognitive world somehow tie in. Akechi has told him just as much about how that place works by drawing him diagrams and explaining words like palace and Mementos as he has by quietly sharing stories of his mother beneath the steam of a bathhouse, or trying to rip his throat out with his bare hands.
There are things Akira may never be able to learn. A darkened alley behind a cottage, an attempt to alter a gelfling's cognition by either of their means ending in failure. Akechi's fingers wrapped around his throat as he bled every vile wound about his father. Days spent living out a false childhood behind castle walls.
Maruki nods at the question, rests a hand atop the kotatsu and traces idle patterns with his fingers. Concentric circles, overlapping again and again and again. Every reality in which he and Akechi Goro have found one another – ally, friend, enemy, family.
The best answer is the simplest one. Maruki draws a breath. ]
He's explained the basics of how the cognitive world operates. What it means for someone to have a palace, and the existence of that realm of the collective unconscious – things like that. All things I'd like to discuss with you too, eventually. As you can imagine, it's fascinating to me. But...
[ None of that matters here. Even if they try to operate under the same logic as Akechi would in a palace, it's all information that doesn't truly matter until he returns to reality. ]
I'd like to answer your question with a story.
[ No, what really matters is this: ]
When I first got here, exploration of the labyrinth was much more common than it is now. There were doors that would transport explorers into strange places that they had to find their way out of. It could be something as mundane as a greenhouse, or something as absurd as a room made entirely of cheese that they had to eat their way out of. I wanted to explore for myself, naturally, so Akechi-kun and I went just a few weeks after my arrival.
[ He spreads his hands wide on the tabletop, then lifts them up into the air, shaping the skyline of a city. ]
We found ourselves in a massive, abandoned city. It was ripped straight out of a movie, right down to the kaiju in it. [ He looks at Akira, eyebrows raised, and laughs. ] Actual kaiju, as tall as skyscrapers! Can you believe it?
[ His hands drop back down, his smile subduing. ]
You have to understand... I was hopeless back then. I had never so much as thrown a punch in my life, and I certainly hadn't been in a situation anywhere near as harrowing as that. I hadn't yet regained Azathoth's power, and even if I had, I didn't know that it was capable of fighting. All I knew was that it had appeared to me right before I awoke here, and the farther away I got from that moment, the more I wondered if I hadn't imagined it.
[ That emptiness at the base of his skull that others only filled with the worst horrors of their realities kept him up at night, and when he slept during the day he found himself counseling in his dreams all over again. It was a maddening time. ]
So, we had to find our way out of that city, and Akechi-kun was tasked with protecting me. I trusted him, but I also thought we were goners. What could two regular guys from Tokyo holding daggers do against kaiju? [ A shake of his head, fringe flopping over one eye. ] But Robin Hood appeared the first moment we were in danger. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I thought to myself – wow, the Detective Prince really is full of surprises, isn't he? I would have been dead without him.
[ And it was only that Detective Prince mask being so firmly intact that kept him from being left for dead. Maruki knows that now. ]
We eventually found a convenience store to take shelter in for a few hours of rest. While I was patching up his wounds, he explained to me that Robin Hood was a manifestation of his will, and– [ Like sunlight breaking through thick cloud cover after weeks of rain. ] I knew. Immediately, I knew we were the same. I hadn't known how to explain Azathoth's presence in my life until he used those words. A manifestation of will.
[ A beat, and Maruki huffs a breath that might be a self-deprecating laugh. ]
I told him everything. I'm sure it was overwhelming. But seeing Azathoth manifest for the first time, contracting with it, and then waking up here without it and a contract with an entirely different being... Kurusu-kun, I really did feel like I was going mad.
But he told me that I wasn't. That what happened to me was real, and that even though my power was dampened by arriving in this reality, it wasn't gone. "It's always with you. There, when you need it most, even if you can't summon it." Do you know what a comfort that was to hear? Honestly, I still don't think he knows. But to have someone around with the same ability during that time when I knew nothing about it and was so lost and confused...
I couldn't have been more grateful to him. It's a debt I'll never be able to repay.
[ A beat, and he picks his head back up. ]
I was able to regain my abilities a few weeks later. They were still foreign to me– fighting at all was still foreign to me, and I needed training. So ever since then, Akechi-kun has been the one to teach me how to utilize my persona. Everything I know, I learned from him.
[ For better and for worse.
Maruki lets that settle between them for a moment, then nods. ]
What he's told me about how it works in our reality pales in comparison to what he's taught me to do in this one. If he hadn't gone to such lengths to do so, I would have been dead several times over by now. So would many others. I'm sure it's jarring to hear that I've learned from your rival, but I hope you can understand. When it comes down to it, he's an incredible person, isn't he, Kurusu-kun?
[ Not a good one. Certainly not. But an incredible one; Maruki will never budge on that. ]
no subject
In truth, Akechi has told him too much for him to ever be able to explain to another person, even one as deeply embedded in his heart as Akira. How does one summarize more than half a year of daily, constant contact? More than half a year of conversations that meander through all possible topics, and even those seemingly unrelated to the cognitive world somehow tie in. Akechi has told him just as much about how that place works by drawing him diagrams and explaining words like palace and Mementos as he has by quietly sharing stories of his mother beneath the steam of a bathhouse, or trying to rip his throat out with his bare hands.
There are things Akira may never be able to learn. A darkened alley behind a cottage, an attempt to alter a gelfling's cognition by either of their means ending in failure. Akechi's fingers wrapped around his throat as he bled every vile wound about his father. Days spent living out a false childhood behind castle walls.
Maruki nods at the question, rests a hand atop the kotatsu and traces idle patterns with his fingers. Concentric circles, overlapping again and again and again. Every reality in which he and Akechi Goro have found one another – ally, friend, enemy, family.
The best answer is the simplest one. Maruki draws a breath. ]
He's explained the basics of how the cognitive world operates. What it means for someone to have a palace, and the existence of that realm of the collective unconscious – things like that. All things I'd like to discuss with you too, eventually. As you can imagine, it's fascinating to me. But...
[ None of that matters here. Even if they try to operate under the same logic as Akechi would in a palace, it's all information that doesn't truly matter until he returns to reality. ]
I'd like to answer your question with a story.
[ No, what really matters is this: ]
When I first got here, exploration of the labyrinth was much more common than it is now. There were doors that would transport explorers into strange places that they had to find their way out of. It could be something as mundane as a greenhouse, or something as absurd as a room made entirely of cheese that they had to eat their way out of. I wanted to explore for myself, naturally, so Akechi-kun and I went just a few weeks after my arrival.
[ He spreads his hands wide on the tabletop, then lifts them up into the air, shaping the skyline of a city. ]
We found ourselves in a massive, abandoned city. It was ripped straight out of a movie, right down to the kaiju in it. [ He looks at Akira, eyebrows raised, and laughs. ] Actual kaiju, as tall as skyscrapers! Can you believe it?
[ His hands drop back down, his smile subduing. ]
You have to understand... I was hopeless back then. I had never so much as thrown a punch in my life, and I certainly hadn't been in a situation anywhere near as harrowing as that. I hadn't yet regained Azathoth's power, and even if I had, I didn't know that it was capable of fighting. All I knew was that it had appeared to me right before I awoke here, and the farther away I got from that moment, the more I wondered if I hadn't imagined it.
[ That emptiness at the base of his skull that others only filled with the worst horrors of their realities kept him up at night, and when he slept during the day he found himself counseling in his dreams all over again. It was a maddening time. ]
So, we had to find our way out of that city, and Akechi-kun was tasked with protecting me. I trusted him, but I also thought we were goners. What could two regular guys from Tokyo holding daggers do against kaiju? [ A shake of his head, fringe flopping over one eye. ] But Robin Hood appeared the first moment we were in danger. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I thought to myself – wow, the Detective Prince really is full of surprises, isn't he? I would have been dead without him.
[ And it was only that Detective Prince mask being so firmly intact that kept him from being left for dead. Maruki knows that now. ]
We eventually found a convenience store to take shelter in for a few hours of rest. While I was patching up his wounds, he explained to me that Robin Hood was a manifestation of his will, and– [ Like sunlight breaking through thick cloud cover after weeks of rain. ] I knew. Immediately, I knew we were the same. I hadn't known how to explain Azathoth's presence in my life until he used those words. A manifestation of will.
[ A beat, and Maruki huffs a breath that might be a self-deprecating laugh. ]
I told him everything. I'm sure it was overwhelming. But seeing Azathoth manifest for the first time, contracting with it, and then waking up here without it and a contract with an entirely different being... Kurusu-kun, I really did feel like I was going mad.
But he told me that I wasn't. That what happened to me was real, and that even though my power was dampened by arriving in this reality, it wasn't gone. "It's always with you. There, when you need it most, even if you can't summon it." Do you know what a comfort that was to hear? Honestly, I still don't think he knows. But to have someone around with the same ability during that time when I knew nothing about it and was so lost and confused...
[ Maruki's hands fold together, finally, eyes downcast, smile warm and calm. ]
I couldn't have been more grateful to him. It's a debt I'll never be able to repay.
[ A beat, and he picks his head back up. ]
I was able to regain my abilities a few weeks later. They were still foreign to me– fighting at all was still foreign to me, and I needed training. So ever since then, Akechi-kun has been the one to teach me how to utilize my persona. Everything I know, I learned from him.
[ For better and for worse.
Maruki lets that settle between them for a moment, then nods. ]
What he's told me about how it works in our reality pales in comparison to what he's taught me to do in this one. If he hadn't gone to such lengths to do so, I would have been dead several times over by now. So would many others. I'm sure it's jarring to hear that I've learned from your rival, but I hope you can understand. When it comes down to it, he's an incredible person, isn't he, Kurusu-kun?
[ Not a good one. Certainly not. But an incredible one; Maruki will never budge on that. ]