[By definition, Akira is not a jealous person. He's been a lonely one, at times, but it's not the same as nurturing jealousy in his heart. He buries his own pain down, because he knows it's inconsequential in the face of things that the ones dearest to him have faced. He's numb to the shape of his parents' backs. The stares of his classmates at Shujin and even back home are nettles that sting but don't bleed. Even earning Sojiro's love wasn't enough to make him jealous of Futaba when he didn't yet have it himself.
But for a moment. Only for a moment.
When he thinks of the Kurusu Akira that had something to look forward to at school outside of the roof or Ann slumped over in front of him or Morgana's tail batting at him from inside his desk... When he thinks of the Kurusu Akira that got to meet Maruki Takuto, someone that wanted his time and wasn't afraid...
The anger that flashes through him tastes like ash on his tongue.
His expression doesn't move. His voice is still calm.]
If I'm honest... I've been isolated since I left home, so I don't know if I could tell you the difference. I might not be the best person to ask.
[No.
Even if that's true, no.
Maruki asked him for help, so he will help him.]
But... if I think of it as an extension of what I already went through, there's some similarity there. People frightened by what they don't understand. Being considered a criminal for trying to do the right thing. [He stares at his hands, too clean for what they've done today or the days before waking up here.] I'm not sure I can say our experiences are the "same" because it feels like a part of what I was already experiencing. But if I'd woken up here alone like you had, I don't think our experiences would be dissimilar, if that makes sense.
[There's two things Akira desperately wants to bring up about what Maruki said. He can't let them wait. But he does anyway, just enough for Maruki to respond, so he can know if it was enough to ease what's weighing on his mind.]
no subject
But for a moment. Only for a moment.
When he thinks of the Kurusu Akira that had something to look forward to at school outside of the roof or Ann slumped over in front of him or Morgana's tail batting at him from inside his desk... When he thinks of the Kurusu Akira that got to meet Maruki Takuto, someone that wanted his time and wasn't afraid...
The anger that flashes through him tastes like ash on his tongue.
His expression doesn't move. His voice is still calm.]
If I'm honest... I've been isolated since I left home, so I don't know if I could tell you the difference. I might not be the best person to ask.
[No.
Even if that's true, no.
Maruki asked him for help, so he will help him.]
But... if I think of it as an extension of what I already went through, there's some similarity there. People frightened by what they don't understand. Being considered a criminal for trying to do the right thing. [He stares at his hands, too clean for what they've done today or the days before waking up here.] I'm not sure I can say our experiences are the "same" because it feels like a part of what I was already experiencing. But if I'd woken up here alone like you had, I don't think our experiences would be dissimilar, if that makes sense.
[There's two things Akira desperately wants to bring up about what Maruki said. He can't let them wait. But he does anyway, just enough for Maruki to respond, so he can know if it was enough to ease what's weighing on his mind.]