[It hadn't been why he let him do it, but Akira ends up glad for the moment. He knows he stares at the blade for longer than he should after wiping it clean, only in the way that he startles out of it the way he does when he loses track of time.
What brings him back is the sound of Maruki moving things around. There's no little paw to touch his face to bring him back to the present, and it's one thing he's miserably grateful for. If Akira has his way, Morgana will never find out about any of this.
By the time Maruki is back, the dagger is tucked away and he's slouched at the kotatsu. Almost normal, though he knows his eyes probably look just a little bit off, still. He can only find a good angle for the glare to block one of them, and it makes his nerves feel just a little bit more exposed. But still... he listens, nods as Maruki finishes.]
We'll navigate it together. [And then, a smile that's tired but a little more genuine. Almost what Maruki knows.] If we'd gotten to be allies in the respect that we fought alongside each other, it wouldn't be the first time we walked somewhere unknown.
[So much of it Akira hadn't known. Even halfway out of his last semester of high school and having to figure out what Jails meant, he's never known. There's always been a thrill in that... except for the times that not knowing cut him just a little bit too deep.
It isn't like that now. He did a terrible thing, but he feels light. He almost feels hope.]
When people see something they don't know, they think it's amazing. They're awed by it or terrified of it, or sometimes a little bit of both. I think it's a simple thing like that. But to me, my friends are just my friends. You're-
[The person I want to know more, because you deserved better than getting me.
The person I don't understand why I didn't get to meet.
The person that scares me because of how quickly I'm trusting you.]
-You're Maruki-san. [A small noise in the back of his throat, something just an inch away from embarrassed, and then Akira shakes his head.] ...You're Maruki-sensei. So let me say again, honestly this time... ask me what you need to. I'll tell you what I can.
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What brings him back is the sound of Maruki moving things around. There's no little paw to touch his face to bring him back to the present, and it's one thing he's miserably grateful for. If Akira has his way, Morgana will never find out about any of this.
By the time Maruki is back, the dagger is tucked away and he's slouched at the kotatsu. Almost normal, though he knows his eyes probably look just a little bit off, still. He can only find a good angle for the glare to block one of them, and it makes his nerves feel just a little bit more exposed. But still... he listens, nods as Maruki finishes.]
We'll navigate it together. [And then, a smile that's tired but a little more genuine. Almost what Maruki knows.] If we'd gotten to be allies in the respect that we fought alongside each other, it wouldn't be the first time we walked somewhere unknown.
[So much of it Akira hadn't known. Even halfway out of his last semester of high school and having to figure out what Jails meant, he's never known. There's always been a thrill in that... except for the times that not knowing cut him just a little bit too deep.
It isn't like that now. He did a terrible thing, but he feels light. He almost feels hope.]
When people see something they don't know, they think it's amazing. They're awed by it or terrified of it, or sometimes a little bit of both. I think it's a simple thing like that. But to me, my friends are just my friends. You're-
[The person I want to know more, because you deserved better than getting me.
-You're Maruki-san. [A small noise in the back of his throat, something just an inch away from embarrassed, and then Akira shakes his head.] ...You're Maruki-sensei. So let me say again, honestly this time... ask me what you need to. I'll tell you what I can.